Monday, November 19, 2012

Preparing for Levi

Levi Richard Biddle - November 13, 2012

I haven't actually done anything other than make a list in preparation for Levi. This amazing little boy who is getting ready to meet the world was a surprise... but a blessing none the less! It's taken me a while to get used to the idea of being a mama to TWO little guys... but it's starting to sink in (it only took 5 months...)

As things are sinking into this thick skull of mine, I'm starting to get more nervous. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not in full worry mode: my Lord has given me peace. But I guess I'm just remembering how things were when Jonah was a newborn, and I really, REALLY don't want things to be the same.

With Jo I had a full-on mama-melt down. Which ended up with a doctors visit and some drugs that thankfully I didn't have to take. It terrified me that my head was taking me back to the dark places before I met my Savior. I was so overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and well, in pain from just giving birth that I couldn't handle ANYTHING. I cried myself to sleep for a week. I really don't want to go back there with Levi. My heart starts to flutter just thinking about it.

With Jo we couldn't lay him down to sleep because he would spit up and choke. So for a couple weeks  we held him... constantly, as in 24/7. I was so afraid that something would happen to him.

With Jo, my sweet husband slept on the couch for about 3 months with Jonah in the swing so I could get some much need (or I'd have another melt-down) sleep. I felt like a bad mom and wife that my husband had to work all day and then take the night shift because I couldn't deal with sleep deprivation.

And with Jo, my milk never came in right. So I basically made skim-milk. Then as the added cherry on top it made him sick. No matter what I did to my diet he would still spit-up most of each feeding. Eventually I made the hard decision to formula feed, and my sweet little bear started to thrive.

I guess my point in bearing my heart like this is to ask for your prayers. Levi will be here in about 4 months, and I could use all the prayer I can get. Especially about breastfeeding and the meltdowns.

Will you please pray with me?

2 comments:

  1. Sweet Megan I will give this some serious prayer. I know what it is to be overwhelmed and to have an uncontrollable sense of foreboding and I know what it is to have the peace of God. The kind of peace that goes beyond our human reasoning. I will pray for that supernatural peace over you and Justin and baby Levi! One time when I was having one of those melt downs, I began to call out to the Lord for His help. He showed me himself standing at the edge of an enemy mine field. He lifted his arm and beckoned for me to get up under his arm. As He wrapped his arm around me He said to me, "if you will stay under my arm I will guide you through. I know where every trap of the enemy is, you can trust me!" Nest in Him! Love you!

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  2. From what I've heard - your milk supply will change with the second baby (I can't speak from experience though, and I'm still breastfeeding past the year mark at this point).

    If you didn't already, get a wrap for sure. I've been looking up how to wrap and wear two babies at the same time (since Jo can sit up you can wear him on the back and then wear Levi on the front with either a ring sling or another wrap). I want to try it with my friend's baby (5 months vs the 1 year).


    I can't imagine what you are going through right now, but if you ever have a melt down remember this:

    I still have a coupon from you that says you owe me a Slurpee and star bursts.

    And you are amazing. Just for being who you are, you are strong, you can do it. You have the world on your side.

    My number hasn't changed, and I'm going to be in the Midland for thanksgiving if you want to give me a ring.

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