My Testimony


I gave my life to Christ when I was a freshman in high school. But in order to get to a point that I wanted to ask Jesus to be my everything, I had to hit rock bottom…

My life as a little girl was like most, filled with dreams of being a princess, having my very own unicorn that could fly, and having my prince come to whisk me off my feet so we could live "happily-ever-after." I loved fairy tales, I still do.
The preschool Megan.
Sadly, that is all my knowledge of Jesus was. Oh sure, growing up I went to church with my parents on Sundays, celebrated Christmas and Easter; but I thought of Jesus as I thought of Santa: A nice old man. I never understood who Jesus was, or what He had done.

My life was great until third grade. That is when my father filed for a divorce. I still remember sitting at the kitchen table with my mum, she was helping me write a story about a fairy that lived in a flower, and she just started crying. She looked at me and told me that daddy didn't love mommy anymore and they were getting a divorce.

Needless to say, my life wasn't so great anymore. My mother was making the hard transition to single parenting, and my father had a girlfriend. His girlfriend was horrible with kids, she would verbally abuse me and my little brother, and I didn’t see much of my Dad because of her. That was at home, at school kids would tease me endlessly about everything from my weight, to the crutches I generally had thanks to messed up ankles and hips. From third grade on I dealt with depression, though at that age, I didn't know that's what it was. In sixth grade, I thought I found a fix... I became a wiccan. Yes, I messed with witchcraft and other crazy stuff that NO ONE should ever play with. In eighth grade things hit a new low. I basically went insane. I ended up boxing myself in. If I did my homework, I shouldn't have. If I didn't do my homework, I should have. If I called someone it would be inappropriate, if I didn't it wasn't right. My mental wars got to the point that if I breathed it was wrong, if I didn't breathe it was wrong. The best way I can explain it is think of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. I just couldn't deal with anything anymore.

So one late February night in 2002, I attempted suicide. I took a major overdose of pills, whatever was in the medicine cabinet. I had to of emptied three or four full bottles. I remember going to bed being extremely content. I kept thinking, "You'll be dead soon, you won't have to think anymore, you won't have to hurt anymore, you won't have to be anymore." Purely by a miracle from God, I woke up. When I did wake though, I was ticked-off. I kept repeating, "NO! You are supposed to be dead... DEAD!" After about a week of walking around like a zombie, I started to wonder why hadn't I died? The only explanation I could come up with was that God had saved me. Right then, God placed this intense curiosity in my heart. I began to search, and learn about Christ. I read books, I went online, and I even went to a few church gatherings.
That's me in the middle of the back row. This was taken right in the middle of my search for God.
Then it happened, my freshman year of high school, November of 2003, again a miracle of God, because no one had told me what to do. I went to bed and broke down in tears, I thanked the Lord for saving my life, I thanked Him for my second chance, and I prayed that He would take over the life He had given me. I accepted Jesus Christ into my heart! He was no longer just the Savior of my earthly life, but of my eternal life as well! It felt like this huge, dark, heavy cloud had been lifted from me. Jesus had changed me.

A little after accepting Him, the Lord lead me to a Christian club that met at my high school. In that club I continued to learn more, I really started a relationship with Christ. I also started relationships with other Christians. One new friend who I also knew through my English class invited me to his youth group at church. I remember my first time there in detail: It was the first time I had ever felt God's presence. It was incredible. I was so overwhelmed and amazed at this unearthly love that I broke into tears. That night every hurt and hole in my heart, Jesus' love healed.

After all the awful, wretched things I had done, He still loved me and forgave me! I tried to take the only thing I have to offer my King, my life, and He still loved me!

I now live my life for Him.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, what a testament of His redemptive power. I'm so glad that He saved your life and that you know are using your life to glorify and bring others to Him. Many hugs and thanks for sharing your very important story!

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  2. Oh sweet girl, what an amazing testimony! I so love hearing the power of God in others lives!! So glad he saved your life, literally! And also that He saved you in a way no one else can. love!

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